Introduction: Gratitude for the Journey
Reflecting on my tenure with CBIZ which started in October 2015, gratitude fills my heart. This period has been a remarkable blend of professional achievements and profound personal growth, enriched by the support and opportunities provided by my colleagues and leaders.
Finding Roots and Resilience: Unveiling Family Bonds
My CBIZ journey coincided with crucial familial discoveries—meeting my biological mother after 46 years and facing a subsequent secondary rejection in 2019. Despite the pain, these experiences taught me resilience. Around the same time, I met my biological father, forming a relationship kept secret from my half brothers, even 8 years after the reunion. These episodes of connection and loss have deeply impacted my understanding of identity and roots.
Professional and Personal Synergy: Growth Amidst Trials
During my time at CBIZ, my career trajectory wasn’t just a reflection of professional milestones but also a parallel narrative of personal evolution and resilience. As I made strides in the corporate world, I concurrently navigated profound personal challenges, each influencing and enriching the other in unexpected ways.
Embracing Healing and Transformation
The journey through personal trials was marked by moments of profound vulnerability and strength. Witnessing the loss of a parent after a long battle with Parkinson’s disease was a deeply impactful experience, teaching me lessons in compassion, the fragility of life, and the strength found in shared humanity.
Moreover, the decision to undertake a 60-day residential treatment was akin to enrolling in a comprehensive course on “Adulting,” where the curriculum delved deep into the essence of personal growth and healing. This transformative period was structured around Don Miguel Ruiz’s “The Four Agreements,” offering a blueprint for personal freedom and self-love. The program also extensively covered Codependency, Internal Family Systems, Trauma, and Body Dysmorphia, alongside disordered eating, substance use disorder, the addiction cycle, and mindfulness practices.
This immersive experience allowed me to process a multitude of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), understand childhood attachment styles, and embrace the principles of healthy relationships. It was a journey of unlearning and relearning, where the ultimate lessons were about embracing vulnerability, fostering resilience, and understanding the nuanced tapestry of human emotions and experiences.
Leaning Into Discomfort for Personal Change
The support from CBIZ during these periods of personal upheaval was invaluable, illustrating the profound impact that a supportive professional environment can have on an individual’s ability to face personal challenges. It was a testament to the power of leaning into the discomfort of personal change, embracing the lessons it brings, and the transformative growth that follows.
This synergy between professional support and personal trials underscored a crucial realization: our professional lives and personal journeys are not separate paths but intertwined narratives that shape and define us. It is through navigating these trials with courage and support that we uncover our true potential, resilience, and the capacity for profound personal and professional growth.
Nurturing Empathy and Discernment: Lessons from Beneath the Surface
My journey through recovery has not only been a path to personal healing but also an enlightening experience that deepened my understanding of human nature and interpersonal dynamics. This transformative process has highlighted the importance of safe communities for sharing and processing experiences, a setting where vulnerability is not just accepted but embraced as a cornerstone of growth. Through these experiences, I’ve been blessed to hone a gift of discernment, an ability to see beyond the surface and understand the deeper truths of situations and emotions. Alongside this, I’ve developed a profound sense of empathy, recognizing that each person carries their own unique story, hidden beneath the waterline of their personal iceberg.
Reflecting Experiences: The Mirror Effect
In the professional setting at CBIZ, every interaction with a colleague has served as a mirror, reflecting not just their experiences but also offering insights into my own. This mirroring effect has illuminated the myriad ways in which we all navigate our personal and professional lives, often carrying silent stories of struggle, resilience, and triumph. Recognizing these unspoken narratives has underscored the significance of compassion, vulnerability, and human connection, teaching me invaluable lessons about empathy and the power of genuinely understanding one another.
Empathy and Resilience: Building Community
These interactions, rich with shared and mirrored experiences, have been instrumental in teaching me about the essence of community. They’ve shown me how every individual, regardless of their role or position, contributes to the tapestry of our collective experience. This realization has been a powerful reminder of the importance of fostering an environment where empathy and vulnerability are not only recognized but celebrated as strengths.
The value of these lessons cannot be overstated. They’ve equipped me with a deeper appreciation for the complex, interconnected nature of our lives and the crucial role that empathy and discernment play in navigating this landscape. By embracing these qualities, we can build stronger, more compassionate communities, both within the workplace and beyond, where every individual feels seen, heard, and valued.
As I reflect on my time at CBIZ and my journey through recovery, I am profoundly grateful for the opportunities to learn, grow, and connect on such meaningful levels. It’s a testament to the power of safe spaces, the transformative impact of shared stories, and the indelible mark that genuine human connections leave on our lives.
Spiritual Awakening and Mental Health Insight: Journey through Darkness to Light
The transformative period culminating in accepting Jesus Christ as my savior represented a pivotal moment of profound personal and spiritual evolution, guiding me towards a path of faith, healing, and acceptance. This journey wasn’t merely about finding religion; it was about discovering a deep, sustaining source of grace and mercy that could fill the voids left by life’s traumas and the maladaptive coping mechanisms I had developed over the years.
The Dark Night of the Soul: Finding Light in Complete Surrender
My spiritual awakening occurred amidst what St. John of the Cross might describe as “the dark night of the soul,” a phase of deep spiritual crisis and isolation that precedes a profound internal awakening. In this darkness, I grappled with the scars left by “church hurt” — the pain and disillusionment that can stem from negative experiences within organized religion. These challenges made the path to faith and surrender even more daunting.
The turning point came with the realization that all the ways I had been trying to cope with stress and the impact of trauma were ultimately futile attempts to fill a hole that only the grace and mercy available through Christ Jesus could satisfy. It was a moment of stark revelation: the behaviors and patterns I clung to for comfort were merely distractions from the deep healing and fulfillment I yearned for. The first words that resonated with me in my new church were “total surrender = total freedom.” This simple yet profound statement became a guiding light, illuminating the path toward true liberation from my past.
Breaking the Cycles: Transforming Pain into Mission
The sermon series “Breaking the Cycles” played a critical role in cementing my conviction. Focused on transforming pain into purpose, it offered a new perspective on my struggles. Rather than viewing my pain as a series of obstacles to overcome, I began to see it as a catalyst for my mission in life. This shift in perspective was monumental. It was not about discarding my past but about harnessing it as a source of strength and motivation to help others navigate their own journeys of faith and healing.
This spiritual rebirth, fostered by the acceptance of Christ’s love and grace, has been integral to my mental and emotional well-being. Embracing faith has provided me with the tools and perspective to address my trauma, adopt mindfulness practices, and cultivate a healthier, more grounded existence.
My spiritual awakening has taught me that true freedom and healing come from a place of total surrender to God’s will. It has shown me the beauty of transforming pain into a mission, where every trial becomes an opportunity to grow, serve, and testify to the redemptive power of faith. This journey from darkness into light has not only been about my healing but also about preparing me to be a vessel of hope, compassion, and understanding for others.
The Wisdom of Vulnerability: A Call for Compassion and Understanding
I’ve come to value the power of authenticity and the courage to seek help. Imagining a world where everyone understands mental health, practices mindfulness, and recognizes the mind-body connection fills me with hope for a more empathetic society.
Farewell and Invitation: Gratitude and Moving Forward
As I bid farewell to CBIZ, my heart overflows with gratitude for every individual who’s been part of my journey. I seek forgiveness for any moment I fell short and extend an invitation to continue our shared journey of learning and growth.
Closing: A Legacy of Empathy
My time at CBIZ has been transformative, teaching me the value of empathy, acceptance, and faith. I leave humbled and hopeful, eager to embrace the paths ahead. I’m forever thankful for the role each of you has played in my story, and I look forward to carrying these lessons forward, enriching every life we touch.
Biblical Reflection
I walked through the wilderness, facing shadows and trials, yet it was through this journey I found my way to the light. Like Job, who endured loss and pain only to emerge faithful and restored, I too have seen the dawn after the darkest nights (Job 42:10-17). Let us embrace the opportunities for growth and change, holding onto faith, empathy, and the belief that through our trials, we can find our way back home, transformed.
Be well and may you be covered by God’s favor,
Tim