I want to share a part of my journey that has been both challenging and transformative, particularly regarding my faith and adoption. As many of you know, adoptees often struggle with Christianity or believing in God. This was my story for a long time. Growing up Catholic, I felt judgment and shame. The way I learned about religion painted a picture of God as a harsh, conditional figure, much like my earthly parents.
Wandering in the Wilderness
After wandering in a “spiritual wilderness” for over 30 years, where I struggled with relationships, endured two divorces, battled addictions, and faced anxiety, depression, codependency, and workplace bullying, I began attending a non-denominational church. This change was sparked by a series of sermons on toxic behaviors and relationships. For the first time, I heard the story of Jesus presented in a non-judgmental way, free from the traditional flare that often overshadowed the message. I realized that Jesus came to seek people like me—the lost, the brokenhearted, the sinners. He had a special passion for orphans, widows, and those with an orphaned heart like mine.
Living with an Orphaned Heart
Living with an orphaned heart meant living in spiritual slavery—fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of intimacy, and a lack of trust. Through this new understanding of Jesus, I learned that the path to peace and freedom is forgiveness—of myself and others. The Bible’s common theme of adoption resonated deeply with me, especially with examples like Moses. Being adopted into God’s kingdom became the only adoption that truly mattered, putting my earthly adoption into a new perspective.
“God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure” (Ephesians 1:5, NLT). This scripture reassured me that my adoption into God’s family was not an afterthought but a divine plan.
Baptism and Unexpected Turns
After my baptism in December 2023, my journey took another unexpected turn. I lost my job after being a whistleblower but soon met my biological mother’s first cousin through Ancestry.com. He introduced me to my uncle, her brother, who is a Christian. This connection has been a blessing. My uncle has helped me understand my biological mother’s life and the immense challenges she faced, including a harsh childhood and a tough relationship with their father. Raised Catholic, she became an atheist after relinquishing me and didn’t tell anyone about me for 25 years, fearing judgment.
Understanding her pain has been pivotal for me. My presence is a painful reminder of the most traumatic experience of her life. Yet, through this journey, I’ve found healing and a renewed perspective. My relationship with my uncle has been a source of strength, showing me how faith can bring understanding and compassion.
Finding Peace and Freedom
To my fellow adoptees who struggle with faith, I understand your pain and skepticism. My journey hasn’t been easy, but finding a non-judgmental community and re-examining my beliefs has brought me more peace and freedom. We all have our paths, and for those seeking, there is hope and healing to be found.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV). This promise has given me strength to trust that my path, though challenging, is part of a greater purpose.
Transforming Pain into Purpose
I also now see that God wants to use me, as I wasn’t living out His purpose for my life—I was surviving using earthly maladaptive coping mechanisms. God doesn’t waste a hurt. My pastor offered this wisdom: you can stay stuck in your past and build a home in the why of your circumstances, or you can transform your pain and turn it into a purpose. I’m now finding my purpose in life using my gifts of discernment, teaching, and prophecy to serve others as a Christian life coach, speaker, and consultant.
Conclusion: Embracing Healing and Purpose
Sending love and strength to all as we navigate these complex emotions and histories together. My journey through faith and adoption has taught me that healing is possible, and our deepest pains can be transformed into our greatest purposes. Let us trust in God’s plan, knowing that He uses every part of our story for good.
Reflection Question for Readers
How have you navigated your journey of faith and adoption, or other challenging life events? What steps have you taken towards healing and finding your purpose? Share your experiences and reflections on the transformative power of faith and truth in your life.